i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
