i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
