And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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