the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
