My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
