he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
