Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
