No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize