Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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