K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
