Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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