dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
