She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
