I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
