Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize