the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize