the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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