I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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