you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
