If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
