i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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