She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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