Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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