Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
