Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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