I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
