I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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