If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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