I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Randomize
