Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
