it's too hot outside to masturbate.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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