but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
