Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Let's get the cat blown out
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
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