how can u be prego again
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
