Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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