When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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