Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
