u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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