If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
