I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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