I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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