guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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