I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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