nut hugger
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
