I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I think I sprained my soul last night
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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