do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
