Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
