I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
