I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
