Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize