I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
