whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
