How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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