turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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