so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
