just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
