i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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