Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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