I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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