Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Randomize
