do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
