Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
